Living with Loss
Meet the 7 Needs of Mourning to Heal All Types of Grief, Even if it's Been Years and You Feel Broken and Empty
If you’ve ever loved anything or anyone significantly, you’ve likely experienced grief.
Sadness, anger, numbness, confusion and a long list of physical, emotional and mental symptoms become your new world. You’re not the same as you were before the loss.
Questions swirl in your head.
Why did this happen?
What did I do to deserve this?
How do I cope?
Will I ever find closure?
Now imagine living a life of happiness and joy. One where memories of your loss don’t bring up negative emotions and thoughts.
A life where you’ve learned to cope and Live with Loss.
The brokenness heals, the emptiness fills with positivity and you find closure.
My name is Michelle Onyango. The youngest of my four children, David, died on January 4th, 2012. It was my 31st birthday. He was only 68 days old.
On a day when I should have been celebrating, my world crumbled and my heart broke.
Months passed and I lay crying on my couch, numb to the world. Friends and family drifted away. I was overwhelmed with sadness and didn’t think anyone could feel as bad as I did. Nobody could truly understand what I was going through.
My world shattered every time I heard, “Get over it,” or “Move on.”
Time would pass and I’d feel better for a while only to be struck by incapacitating sorrow. When the cloud of grief would hit, I felt like a failure. Like I was moving backward and I’d never be happy again.
I did so many things trying to find closure. I searched and searched. I even went back to school and got a Masters in Education Counselling in hopes of helping myself and others.
After trying different things, I identified seven needs of mourning that were crucial to reconciling my grief. Once I discovered a path to healing, I made it my mission to help other grievers along the journey. I opened my own counselling practice, started a podcast and publically spoke to groups about grief.
Before long, I noticed others finding healing too!
My clients learned coping skills and strategies to work through their emotions and thoughts in a safe and supportive space.
They were able to identify their unmet needs of mourning and we worked to find ways to meet them. As they mourned, the grief lessened BUT the memories remained.
Grief never goes away but we can have hope and happiness. We can learn to Live with Loss.
When I realized there were needs of mourning and most people didn’t know how to meet them, I created educational information, activities and resources to help them out.
That brought with it, a problem: I couldn’t help enough people. Seeing one client at a time meant I could only assist a small group of people even though so many suffer.
I created Living with Loss, a six week course where I share the 7 Stepping Stones of Mourning that were integral to the healing I experienced and witnessed.
Those who take the course learn the seven mourning needs, which ones they’ve not met and how to meet them. The information and activities are presented as:
- Audio files
Healing happens best in a safe, empathetic and judgement free environment. Grieving is not meant to be done alone. That’s why I give each person who purchases the course access to a Closed Facebook Group where they can ask questions, share memories and stories and co-grieve with others journeying through grief.
If you’re ready to transition from despair to hope and move from hopelessness to healing, I invite you to join Living with Loss.
I wouldn’t expect you to only take my word for it though. Here’s what a few of my students have said:
"Michelle is empathetic and speaks from a place of experience. I liked to watch the videos on my own schedule and then interact in the Facebook community for support and encouragement."
- AK, Multiple Losses, Founders Student 2017
"I felt like the course normalized and validated my loss when society did not. I learned a lot about grief."
- CS, Unresolved Loss, Founders Student 2017
"I like that you included all sorts of losses and gave them the same weight. I work with/for people who've suffered many losses...loss of mobility, independence, community. I came away with more insight and appreciation for these losses and with tools I can use to guide clients.
Including the impact of social media on the grieving process was a nice addition – for all the webinars/classes I’ve taken, social media has never been part of the discussion."
- LM, Home Support Worker, Founders Student 2017
You might be thinking, this all sounds great but….
I don’t have the time.
That’s okay. This course isn’t for everyone. Not all of us are ready to heal. Not everyone is ready to live without the pain.
Everyone finds their way in their own time.
I’m going to hit you with a truth bomb though: Time doesn’t heal. That’s a HUGE misconception. Waiting it out won’t change things.
The more we push the hurt to the side, the less resilient we become and the more likely emotions will spill out and interfere with our lives and relationships.
The longer we spend with unresolved grief, the more likely our grief will become complicated and messy. We all experience multiple forms of grief in our lives and when left unresolved, they get muddled and harder to unpack.
Before long our emotions and thoughts seem out of our control and we don’t know what’s causing what.
Or maybe you're thinking...
There are a lot of great resources on the internet, why can’t I just use those?
You can. You can also use the free support groups too. I’m wondering, how are they working for you?
We've all been there. Googling self-help articles, collecting quotes on Pinterest and posting in groups where we get, “I’m sorry for your loss,” replies.
If that's you and you're still feeling unfulfilled and in pain, maybe it’s time you try something new.
You may also be thinking...
I can’t afford the course.
Counseling fees typically cost between $125-250 per hour. Many people require up to 12 sessions to work through their grief. That’s anywhere from $1500 to $3000.
The Living with Loss course provides you with:
- Hours of educational videos and audio files
- Unlimited peer-to-peer support in the counsellor facilitated Facebook group
- Six Weekly 1-hour Facebook Live videos presented by a Certified Counsellor
- Plus Activities, Quizzes and the FREE Resource Folder
All for a substantially lower cost.
I’m putting myself out on a limb with this course because it greatly reduces the needs of my clients to see me in a 1-to-1 capacity, even though I’m charging far less for the course and offering the same results.
In fact, each person could purchase the course, download all the files and resources and then ask for a refund. Some people might do that but I’m so confident in this healing journey, I’m willing to put myself out there. I know those who trust in the process and participate in the community will be beyond grateful and wouldn’t contemplate doing something like that. I won’t let the actions of a few prevent me from reducing the suffering of many.
Even though the course is packed with value (let's be realistic, you CAN'T put a price tag on happiness), you might still be on the fence.
To encourage you to the side where healing lives, I’m offering a few bonuses.
Live Webinar Bonus
This is a weekly invitation to a live webinar within the last lecture of each module providing additional information on topics related to grief.
1. The 5 Stages of Grief
2. Changing the Narrative
3. Grief in a Public World
4. Carried Grief
5. Loss Overload
6. The Benefits of Empathy
Live Chat Bonus
Check-in with me via Skype or telephone for a 30 minute 1-to-1 chat at any point throughout the course. It’s the perfect opportunity to dive deeper into your experience with loss.
Please take this opportunity to say YES to your healing following grief and register in the Living with Loss course. It’s as easy as clicking the button below.
Note: There’s a limited enrollment window because the course is offered only four times per year.
Every day you wait, is a day you live without closure and healing.